1) I am more emotional than I think I am (and that's okay). There was a solid 2-ish years where I thought I had matured exponentially and learned how to get a tight, solid grip on my feelings and reactions to said feelings. Life was peachy and circumstances generally quite good, so I had no reason to complain. Logic and an even keel were my very close acquaintances.
However, the last year or so has been bad - really, really bad. But I guess the true testament to my newly-formed emotional stability is whether or not it can withstand all the terribleness of 2018 (see: grief from loved ones that have passed too soon, societal injustice, election nights, global violence, the rage of mother nature, existential crises about mortality & meaning, I could go on and on and on). Fortunately, I'm hanging in there. But if you find that I'm quieter, maybe a bit more glum, or notice a consistent reappearance of a furrowed brow in the middle of seemingly pleasant moments, please don't be alarmed. I've found lately that I'm more susceptible to being overwhelmed and engulfed by fogs of negativity, but I've also been finding my way out more quickly each time. It's a process.
2) I overcompensate (occasionally). The direct result of this overcompensation is that I'll make decisions on a whim. Feeling like I've been lazy? Sign up for a half marathon. Wondering if I've been too dependent on social media for validation? Delete Instagram. Have I become too materialistic? Surely a self-imposed, year-long shopping ban is the correct answer. I realize that none of these decisions are inherently bad or unhealthy. I'm only pointing it out because I never realized this behavior was actually a pattern until a friend pointed it out to me. All of a sudden, my short-lived paleo diet and one-time vintage motorcycle purchase made so much more sense. What a quirk, am I right? (Joke.)
3) There's probably something to add here, but I'm sleepy.
No comments:
Post a Comment